I’m rather frustrated at the moment. Before anyone reads this, I want a few things understood…

• I realize this this post will create drama. I wish it wouldn’t, but I think the drama already exists without it being my intention anyways.
• I’m going to have some say some things that certain people won’t like – and I’m not just speaking about the person that this post is sort of aimed at.
• I believe in being open and honest about my feelings. It’s one of the reasons for a blog.
• I don’t know how else to get out what I have to say other than to just post it here… because I’m afraid things will get too heated and words will be misconstrued if I try to communicate these things one on one.

With all of these things in mind… here’s what I have to say:

Lionheart Estate means more to me than most people realize. It’s not just some job or some parcel of land that my business is sitting on. I chose Lionheart and in return… it chose me. Not as some staff member. Not as some chairwoman. It chose me as a business owner, as a Second Life user and as a person. From the day I purchased my first parcel, it’s been home.

I will never forget the day I met Xavion. He used to be my neighbor – back when Jolly Farm was just a itty bitty barn in the middle of Lionheart Scar. I befriended him before I even knew he was staff and before I knew it, my thoughts, my ideas and my voice were being heard. I was a shoe-in from the very start. With his help, I created Howdy Neighbor Day and with his guidance, I was hired as staff after being a Lionheart resident for six months.

I wasn’t hired as staff because I lost the CoC elections. I was asked to be staff several months before – back during my partnership with Xavion. But he and I agreed that due to the nature of our relationship at the time, it would be best if we drew a line somewhere. Being in a relationship with him already put a target on my head as many thought I held some sort of advantage or privilege over them within the community (which it did not). When Dirk asked me to be staff a second time, I was hesitant.

My role as Chamber of Commerce Chairwoman is very important to me and I’d been interested in the position almost as long as I’d been a resident. I accepted the staff position of Account Executive with the stipulation that I would not be announced as staff until after the elections had concluded. I did not want people to vote for me because I was staff or worse, not vote for me because I was staff. My two roles have absolutely nothing to do with one another… but I knew not everyone would understand that. It’s like how Xavion is an Estate Manager but he’s also Community Manager. The two are completely separate jobs that require completely separate tasks.

I was very upset when I lost the election. I do honestly feel like I lost because I have not been as forthcoming about my hand in events and changes that drive forth the community. I relied on my business experience, my creation of Howdy Neighbor Day and the length of time I’d been a Lionheart resident. I didn’t go out of my way to present anything new or give the residents ‘new and shiny’ – I presented instead my dedication and commitment to the estate. I’m sorry… I didn’t present a newspaper. I have my fingers in actual Lionheart Estate sanctioned projects that I can’t even talk about yet because they simply aren’t ready. If I could have… maybe I could have competed with a newspaper. I couldn’t. I lost. End of story. My position as official Lionheart staff was announced and I moved on – even still offered to take on the huge project of organizing and hosting the Lionheart Estate Winter Carnival Hunt.

I’m not entirely sure what happened, but one day some sort of blog war started. A simple miscommunication struck a poor chord. I thought we’d gotten past the mis communication. I decided to relinquish my involvement with the Lionheart Estate “Halloween-ish type event” because I obviously didn’t have my facts straight about what it was all about – and nor did my constituent. I also will be unable to attend or at the very least, would only be able to participate on a minimal level. But for some reason, more ugly words came from another’s blog and honestly, I have to say that I am terribly confused as to what went on.

What whisperings? What junior high level politics? I really wish I understood. I want so badly to know what went wrong and how we came to this seemingly war of blogs over the current situation. You stepped down as Chairwoman. You didn’t take the time to notify what I would consider the proper channels, but that’s just my opinion… and it doesn’t even matter because what’s done is done. But something happened between us and I don’t know where.

Winter Carnival? That is a Lionheart Estate Chamber of Commerce sanctioned event. You can’t just step down from CoC and take from it what you feel like doing or what you think you have time for. You can’t just create a new group, put yourself in charge of it and then use the facilities of the estate and slap Lionheart’s name on it. It does not work that way. It’s not an event for you… it’s an event for the community, by the community. It’s not even an event to only bring light to the CoC… it just so happens that that is where it’s best suited since it involves promoting the merchants as well as the overall estate.

One day, I’ll no longer be chairwoman… and I hope that anything that I start or create for the good of the community is adopted by my successor. And as your successor, I am doing just that. As I stated at the meeting, I would need to get with you to discuss your continued level of participation within the project because I had no idea what all you were still planning to do for Winter Carnival since your expressed reasons for stepping down involved your lack of time for Second Life.

Allow the CoC the room to grow. Not only do I have your shoes to fill, I have my own ideas and plans for the direction of the group that need to be tended to as well. I don’t know what happened between us. I have not a clue what I did to you. Maybe the posts aren’t even about me? But they sure seem very directed at both me and Lionheart staff as a whole. Whatever this is, it needs to be put behind us for the good of the community that we both claim to love so much.